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Post by Aisu Youkai on Jul 26, 2005 13:32:40 GMT -5
Dante sees the attack coming and decides to use his cuddly Malboro as a shield, softly whispering "I'll miss you, Cuddlekins." He then straightens himself to his full height, prepares his next action with a big breathe... and promptly runs off in the other direction.
Vergil, wiping his tears away and still regaining his breath, rolls his eyes as he watches his brother sprint. He leaps up to attack the Behemoth, but forgot about the meteors crashing down and gets struck on the head and is KOed instantly.
Sparda rushes to his fallen son and begins weeping over his prone form. Eva on the other hand, takes up a skillet for arms and rushes towards the Behemoth with a Xena battle cry. Before the Behemoth is even hit once, it runs away whimpering and whining with its tail between its legs. Eva 'dusts' off her hands and glares at Cel and Rikku, daring them to throw anything else from the sidelines.
Everyone else just stares at Eva in astonishment.
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Post by Darkwarrior on Jul 30, 2005 14:04:01 GMT -5
Sparda rushes over to Eva and sweeps her off her feet. "Gawd damn, Babe." and kisses her.
"Eewww" Everyone else cries at the sight. Apart from Vergil, as even though he's come around, feels even more abandoned as he's been deserted by his father in favour of his mother.
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Aug 3, 2005 11:41:50 GMT -5
In slinks a Blade and hands Vergil a tiny note. Dante rushes over, having come back after seeing is mother defeat the Behemoth from afar, and tries to peer over Vergil's shoulder to read the note. "I wanna see, I wanna see. Let me read it!" He cries in a kiddy voice.
Vergil shoves him away and Dante starts crying on the pavement. Vergil then reads the note in relative peace, everyone else staring at him from afar. The note: an invitation to be a model for Hell's own clothing line, The Abyssal Fold. Vergil writes a reply of "OK!" and then hands it back to the Blade, who slinks off again.
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Post by Darkwarrior on Aug 16, 2005 17:04:37 GMT -5
Dante, having discovered the contents of the note by Vergil's incessant gloating, now sulks that he wasn't asked too. "But I'm twice as good-looking as he is."
Everybody stares at Dante in amusement, deciding that Vergil definately had twice as much brain.
Vergil reclaims the bunny suit for his first audition, because first impressions count...
Lucia defiantly ate another jam sandwich as everybody took back the previous thought about Vergil's brains.
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Aug 17, 2005 22:54:53 GMT -5
Suddenly Mundus let out an exetremely girly scream and raced inside DMC hq. When the others went to investigate, they found him in front of the tv. Upon being questioned, the prince of the underworld replied "I almost missed my favorite show: All My Devils!"
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Post by Darkwarrior on Aug 27, 2005 16:34:57 GMT -5
Everybody settles on the sofa with popcorn.
Mundus yells at everybody for squishing him so he can barely see the screen. The sound of Mundus screaming hurts everyones ears so Eva starts handing out the cheese.
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Aug 28, 2005 23:20:36 GMT -5
Having thoroughly stuffed his ears with the offered cheese, Vergil began munching on a PP&J sandwhich. Lucia glared at him in jealously and finally snatched it from him and finished it.
Vergil cried silently to himself, hoping no one would notice while watching the tv show, as he watched Lucia munch on his carefully made, beautifully planned, perfected creation. It pained him to see all of his effort go down someone else's gullet.
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Post by Darkwarrior on Aug 30, 2005 3:28:20 GMT -5
Lucia, though pleased with her small victory, was bemused as she thought Vergil was supposed to be in Hell modelling.
With a puff of orange smoke, Vergil vanished from the sofa and everyone stopped being quite so squished.
Vergil found himself standing naked up to his ankles in a puddle of goo. A Hell Vanguard sporting a thin moustache and a red beret came up to him.
"Here Darling, put these on, you'll get chilly like that." (someone in the background yelled out about this being Hell and cold was never really an issue)
Vergil took the clothes and hastily put them on, sick to death of the number of times he'd been forced to be naked in the RR so far...until he found the costume he was to model was a pair of heeled fluffy slippers and a see through teddy with fluffy hems.
Vergil stood there in a pose with his hands on his hips and stuck his tongue out in defiance of the repeated humiliation he'd had to endure in the name of stupidity. He really wished they had asked Dante...
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Aug 31, 2005 11:26:38 GMT -5
"Oh, how adorable! And irrestible to boot..." Cel swooned from the sidelines. If Rikku would have to hold her back if she planned on keeping order (not to mention a Y rating XD ) in this RR.
Meanwhile, Dante's twin sense struggled vainly to alert him of his brother's predicament. He shrugged it off with a small laugh and continued to watch the TV. After awhile however it got so dang annoying he finally asked his father where he could find a portal to Hell.
Sparda pointed to the bathroom, but at Dante's confused look he actually got up, dragged Dante to the room, and then pionted to the toilet. Dante still looked perplexed, but Sparda left him to figure it out on his own.
Dubiously, Dante hopped into the toilet and was sent straight to Hell with a soft curse. The curse actually came from below him and Dante looked underneath to find Vergil there in a strange suit. Getting up, pulling Vergil with him, Dante struck a pose and declared "I'm here to rescue you, Vergil!"
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Post by Darkwarrior on Sept 1, 2005 9:16:07 GMT -5
Rikku holds back Cel and fans her with a hankerchief in the hope Vergil can find some less transparent clothes before the rating of this RR has to be put up quite significantly. Needless to say, she's not hoping that much.
"Ow!" Vergil yelped as he was suddenly landed on by a suddenly appearing Dante, who promptly stood up and posed.
Vergil sighed at Dante's enthusiastic statement. He wasn't sure he wanted to be saved that much. Dante had already pulled his arm out of its socket when he started dragging him. Generally, it didn't bode well, so not only did he look humiliatingly stupid, he was probably going to be hurt with it.
After being dragged for what felt at least a mile, if distance meant anything in the Underworld, Dante slowed down. Vergil stood there feeling like a prize prat, at least there had been cameras around before so he was dressed like this for a reason. Now he just looked like he had a strange fetish. He would have sulked, but he'd got bored of doing that so he pouted instead.
Dante, all flushed and breathless from his daring rescue jumped about in childlike excitement. "Go me, go me!"
Vergil pouted a bit more. "Nice one brightspark. Not only do I not get paid for breaking my contract, I have no idea how to get home, and I bet neither do you."
Dante looked sheepish and grinned.
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Sept 18, 2005 22:21:32 GMT -5
Cel, trying to get over Vergil's outfit, giggles at Dante and squeels (wait! I don't squeel! eww...) "Kawaii!" She hops around like a little schoolgirl (more eww...) and tries not to rush out there and jump both of thw twins.
Meanwhile, Dante, still grinning sheepishly, rubs the back of his head for added effect. Then he starts glancing around and up and down, looking for an exit. Amusingly, he finds what looks like an escape hatch to a military ship or submarine and walks over to it.
Vergil comes up behind his brother and, with a bit of pouting and rolling of eyes and his conscience screaming for him not to do it because he just KNOWS what's gonna happen, Vergil carefully opens the hatch.
At first nothing happens and the brothers stare at one another and shrug simultaneously. Then suddenly, and with Vergil's mind saying "I told you so," a vortex-like whirl pool sucks the twins down the hatch...
...and straight onto a green, brooding vampire's lap.
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Post by Darkwarrior on Sept 19, 2005 1:27:49 GMT -5
Kain, Lord of Nosgoth, stares down at the twins. One on each leg. "And what do you want Father Christmas to bring you this year, ho ho ho!"
Dante and Vergil looked at each other and both yelled at the same time...
.."A pony!"
Kain looked at them, then looked at Vergil. "Wouldn't you rather wish for some more suitable attire?"
Vergil thought about it. "Ummm, admittedly I have been rather humiliated throughout the course of this RR, but all things considered, I'd still rather have a pony. I've always wanted to call it Cookie."
Dante objected. "No, we're calling it Fang."
"You can't call a pony 'Fang' Dante, it sounds stupid." Vergil told him.
"And Cookie doesn't?"
Kain sat there as the boys argued noticing that his legs were starting to feel slightly numb.
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Oct 2, 2005 15:50:41 GMT -5
In walks a blue "demon," ranting in a long and monotone voice about paradoxes and some odd things, while the twins agrue on Kain's lap. The ruler of Nosgoth claps once in happiness, glad to see a distraction when he needs one. He gets up, dumping the twins on the floor, rubs the feeling back into his legs, and heads towards Raziel.
The brothers hit the floor with a thump and both look up to the newcomer. Dante cries "Demon!" and jumps up and pulls his two water pistols out, Violet and Blueberry, and aims at the confused, stopping mid-rant, soul reaver.
Raziel blinks once. Twice. Three times. Then he throws his hands up in the air with a great sigh and declares "That's it! I can't take it anymore! I simply cannot work under these conditions anymore. Call my contractor, I quit. I'm never working for another video game again." He turns to Kain with what might be considered a pout on the visible half of his face. "Daddy! They keep mistaking me for a demon...!"
And Kain just cooes and tries to settle down his now crying son, patting him on the back and cradling him side to side as he glares at the evil devil-hunter.
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Post by Darkwarrior on Oct 18, 2005 13:01:53 GMT -5
'Wha?' Dante shrugs looking confused as to how any of this could be his fault.
Vergil stands there trying to see if he can nick a corner off of Raziel's wing to take to a tailor as that's the colour he wants his new coat. Holding on to his katana Cherry Blossom he approached Raziel's wing.
Raziel, sobbing on Kain glared at Vergil, warding him away.
Dante lowered Violet and Blueberry, watching the antics between Raziel and Vergil.
*Rikku dies at this point and can continue no longer as the thought of Vergil in a see-through teddy holding a katana called Cherry Blossom and trying to steal part of Raziel's wing to colour match is just too much and the mental imagary is making her mind explode*
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Post by Aisu Youkai on Oct 20, 2005 10:05:34 GMT -5
*And Cel is having no better luck, but after a day of staring at the screen she is revived... only to laugh herself to death once more upon looking at the post again. In the meantime, Vergil walks in and begins typing.*
Vergil grabs his color sample, kills Dante with his sword, and runs off to get the sexiest blue trench coat ever invented made. The End.
*After Vergil leaves, Dante walks in and, grinning the whole time, erases Vergil's post and types up his own.*
Vergil gets run over by a mad hippopotamus while Dante laughs his head off. And then Dante kills the two demons while their gawking at Vergil's demise. And then DANTE goes and has the sexiest RED trench coat ever invented made. The End.
*After Dante leaves Cel finally wakes up and accidently posts what's written before reading it. But she modifies the post because Dante just can't have his way.*
Vergil can have his sample and coat and if Dante wants a new one he can have one too. But Raziel and Kain are NOT dead and this is not the end. I hope...
*And then Cel dies yet again, this time from embarrassment of this post.* XD
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